David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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