Pappa wants mamma naked
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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