She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
