at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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