jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
