Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
