My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize