Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Drunk is not a location!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
