HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
These tits shall not be calmed
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