I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
