Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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