Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
