she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sext me about skeletons
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
