Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
