he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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