Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i drank out of a bidet.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
