I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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