we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
