She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize