I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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