I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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