what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
