so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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