Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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