He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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