so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
