Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
