If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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