I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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