He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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