No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
