Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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