I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
