I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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