But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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