He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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