dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
