There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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