Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize