Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
40s are totally the cure
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
