I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I touched a dick in church today
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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