would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
