Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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