Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
