Pants 0. Shit 1.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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