you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
