There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
