I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
