i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
