...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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