Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
