You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
