Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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