I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
