I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
