what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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