Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
