Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
