On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize