Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize